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Because It’s There




Because it’s there.

When you ask most people what makes them climb Everest and the other giant peaks on this marble the answer is, inevitably, “because it’s there”. I raced the US Nordic National Championships (against most of the top collegiate and professional skiers in the country) for much the same reason; it was here.

Obviously with my 23 total race starts since starting this sport five years ago I was among the rookiest of the rooks. I also had the distinction of being the oldest racer by 7 years. Never mind the next oldest won by three minutes. I was one of two moms (that I know of and probably). The other mom also had her baby last year and had an awesome day, finishing 19th, and not from the front row either. Go Emma!

The race was on the 2002 Olympics course here in Utah, and the conditions at Soldier Hollow were a tad better than the big alpine resorts right now. It was way, way warmer than predicted, hence my waxing was a little off.

I knew going into the race that the lower you set goals, the easier they are to achieve. Ok, that’s negative. Let’s just say that you should set reasonable goals. I did. They were (in no particular order):

Finish better than last.

Finish without being lapped.

Ski well. In other words, ski without falling down.

Get a picture of my name on the cool Olympics status board.


Jonathan’s only job during the race was to get this picture. Thanks honey!

Well, mission accomplished. I did all of those things. I ended up 60th out of 63 of the best in the country. There were probably hundreds better who didn’t show up, and for that I am probably thankful.

There were a few friends and industry folks out there yelling for me, even on the last lap. But one thing that really impressed and excited me was the number of complete strangers who cheered for me. By name. Ski fans who bothered to look at my number, check their start list and say my name. Of course I gave them plenty of time for research while I was crawling up some of those hills.

Behind every champion there is a team. And behind every old-ass lady in over her head at a huge event, there is also a team. So I’d like to thank the following:

Salomon – they have given me very generous pricing on boots, skis and poles. The boots I wanted because they fit my feet and are nice and stiff for great power transfer. I skied their awesome Soft Ground ski. They were perfect for the mashed potato-looking snow the women’s race skied on after the men and a sudden heatwave wreaked havoc on the snow and my wax job.

Skratch Labs – also gave me some generous pricing on their “secret drink mix” aka Skratch. Of particular importance to me today was the Hyper Hydration Mix, which in extreme conditions like 2500 ft. of climbing in a 20km ski race, kept me from having to take feeds and finish almost as strong as I started. Almost. But that’s not on them.

Bliz Eyewear – It was super foggy and humid today. Conditions that I don’t think would work with anything. The rose colored glasses I got from Bliz helped a lot with the flat light conditions on the downhills. Because remember, I didn’t fall down.

Bill Brooker – my wax tech in-absentia. This guy calls the wax from all the way in New York. Upstate. He is usually spot-on, and I believe he would have been today too, except that the temperature unexpectedly went up 10-15 degrees at the last minute. If I had taken my wax stuff to the venue I could have re-done it, but I didn’t.

My parents, AKA Grandma and Grandpa – they took care of M. while Jonathan and I were off at the races. And apparently they put up with quite a difficult toddler today.

Jonathan – my other half. He came to the race today for moral support, ski toting, water hauling and all around husband-ness. Usually we are both racing, but today he just came for me.

Not last, but skiing by myself. I just like to stay out of trouble!

Not last, but skiing by myself. I just like to stay out of trouble!

I probably won’t do another senior nationals unless it’s senior citizen.  I certainly won’t travel to one; maybe it’ll come back here and maybe I’ll be faster. Maybe not.  I am certainly thankful for the experience and for all those who indulged me in this, perhaps midlife crisis-type activity. It was cheaper than a sports car for sure (not much), and probably healthier.


And now that it’s pounding snow up high I’ll be taking the fat boards out for a spin on the chairlifts while I ponder my next aerobic adventure.

Core Shots – Strength Training for Ski Season




Before I lived in a place where I could be on snow seven to twelve months per year I had to get my fix in a one-week ski trip that was less like a vacation and more like a skiing Tour De France (sans dope).

Year-round snow on Timpanogos, September 2011.

Year-round snow on Timpanogos, September 2011.

We would race to make an early flight to Salt Lake, ski bell-to-bell for six days or so, and try not to get snowed in up the canyon the last day so we could sprint back to the airport.  In reality we needed a vacation when we got back.

After a rude awakening our first year we started to think about getting in some kind of ski shape prior to landing on snow. Now that we live at the source and ski almost year-round on skinny, fat and PHAT skis we still think about staying in shape for that first day on snow. And truth be told, even Bode Miller and his team of downhill pros spend a good deal of their off-season doing dry-land training.

If you’re like most ski vacationers you probably do some other athletic activities during the year, and perhaps those things get you ready for the big ski trip.  Or maybe you live in ski country and ride your bike all summer and have no arms or core. But what if….you hate the gym, want to save your pennies for those $10 hamburgers slope-side and don’t need some skinny, perpetually motivated, annoying fitness professional cheering you on while you do pushups? Then this is for you.

Hiking for turns in the Alta backcountry on Halloween 2011

Hiking for turns in the Alta backcountry on Halloween 2011

Disclaimer: I am not a personal trainer, I don’t have a degree or professional experience in this area. What I do have is: a lifetime of needing to strength train and also hating gyms, a huge background in cycling and a small background in Nordic skiing, twenty-seven years of alpine skiing, eight years of ski vacations plus four years living in ski country, and a system that works to strengthen the muscles used for alpine skiing. Every year I’ve been working on this I have seen improvement. And I still don’t go to a gym. And I don’t do Crossfit either.

Equipment: Weights (an Olympic bar and free weights are great, but varied barbells will work), medicine ball, fitness ball, inflatable balance discs, pull-up bar, a step (like that old Reebok aerobics thing in the back of the garage gathering dust). If you do belong to a gym you can probably find most of these things in the fitness area. If not, these items will set you back anywhere from one to three months in membership fees at a gym, but they are yours to keep. You can find it all at Dick’s, But don’t google that at work.

Philosophy: Alpine skiing hammers your quads. But it also relies on balance, which comes from core strength. Additionally, people commonly forget about the upper body in skiing. Once your hands get behind you it’s all..ahem..downhill from there.

Hoofing it through a Memorial Day blizzard, 2011.

Hoofing it through a Memorial Day blizzard, 2011.

Arms and shoulders get tired from pole plants and risk injury from strange falls. Protecting them with a layer of muscle gives them the strength for that little knuckle drag or tree grab. Because I know, you never fall. Neither do I. Never once.

The workout: Each exercise is done for 30 seconds followed by 30 seconds rest.  Correct form is always preferable to speed; as you get stronger your speed will improve while your form stays consistent.  Start with one circuit and work your way up to as many as you can.

Math Moment: If there are 12 exercises, each taking 30 seconds with a 30 second rest, it takes…..12 minutes to do a circuit. We max out at three, and have seen excellent results. So 36 minutes of effort for an awesome ski trip.  If you have a training watch that can be programmed, set it up to beep at you every 30 seconds. Otherwise get a big clock or count or something. You get the point. The exercises are listed in an order that allows certain muscle groups to rest while working on the other, but they can be done in any order and even with a ski buddy.

The Exercises:

Twisting squats - place the weight, don't twist the body.

Twisting squats – place the weight, don’t swing out of control from side to side.

Twisting squat: Extend your arms, start in a squatting position and slowly rise and twist side to side. This works your obliques and quads in a dynamic motion related to skiing.  Alternate sides on each rep and don’t swing; place yourself in each position solidly.


Pushups: Alternate one hand on the medicine ball and the other on the ground. This varies the angles to hit every part of your shoulder and it also gets you in the gut.

Pushups on the ball with alternating sides.

Pushups on the ball with alternating sides.

Can be done on your knees “girl style” and eventually as full pushups. Keep your back flat. Starts out easy and begins to suck at the 20 second mark. Hang in there.

Superman: Arch your back, tighten glutes, raise arms and legs. Pass the weight around your back in circles. Every few, switch directions. This strengthens your lower back (core) and works your shoulders at a unique angle. If you’re pregnant do this one standing…your baby will appreciate not being squished. If that’s not a baby in there then you have work to do.

Superman - gently pass the weight behind, switch directions every few.

Superman – gently pass the weight behind, switch directions every few.

Oblique crunch: Can be done without weights to begin with. Alternate sides while keeping legs stationary (don’t use them for help). As it gets easier try holding a weight to your chest as you crunch.

Oblique crunch can be done holding a weight or with hands behind head.

Oblique crunch.

One leg hops: Helps with dynamic strength. Spring from your ankle from one foot onto a box and land on the ground with the other. Repeat. Don’t miss the box. Or alternatively, wear shin guards.

Hop - generate power from the ankle.

One Leg Hop – generate power from the ankle.






Ball crunch: Isolate the upper abs by resting your lower back on the ball. Can be done with or without weights, but if you are using weights keep your arms static. It is a core exercise rather than an arm exercise. Don’t use momentum because that’s just cheating.

Upper ab crunch - very small range of motion.

Upper ab crunch – very small range of motion.

Pullup/Chinup: Hands facing you is easier than hands out. If you’re like me, and the most of these you’ve done was for the President’s Physical Fitness test in the 80’s, start with hands facing you. If you can’t do one, use a stool to start at the top and slowly lower yourself. Eventually work up to about ten, then switch to hands out. This works your core and lats for those steep hill pole plants.

Chin-up with hands facing you, Pull-up with hands facing away (harder).

Chin-up with hands facing you, Pull-up with hands facing away (harder).

Side Plank: Fifteen seconds per side. This works your obliques and lower back. Can be done with or without weights.  Make sure your body forms a straight line.

Side plank with weight. Switch sides halfway through.

Side plank with weight. Switch sides halfway through.

Ball smash: On a hard surface, bounce the medicine ball hard against the ground, follow through backwards with your hands, catch it and repeat. This helps with dynamic strength for your shoulders and skiing-wise, helps you return your hands to the front where they need to be for proper form; hands front. It is also a fantastic way to work out frustration…the harder you

Smash the ball on a hard surface and it will bounce back.

Smash the ball on a hard surface and it will bounce back.

slam, the higher the ball returns. Please don’t do this if you live in an apartment (your downstairs neighbor might maim you).

Plank: Works the whole core. Be sure to keep your back flat – no cheating. Can be done with or without weight. I didn’t post a picture because you probably know what a plank looks like and posting pictures of planking is just so 2009.

Military Press: With bar or barbells. Works the shoulders and helps prevent rotator cuff issues.  Also helps your beach muscles, but not as much as curls.

Military press - can be done with small barbells.

Military press – can be done with small barbells.

Balancing squats: Hands down my favorite. This is far more effective than a regular squat for the precise balance of skiing. It takes much less weight to be effective and it reinforces the point that skiing is about strength while balancing. You’ll expect to feel it in your legs, but don’t be surprised when your core tries to crash this party.  Be sure to use very good form and start light – these are harder than they look. Also, don’t do them drunk because you’ll fall backwards on your arse.

Squats on balance disks - can be done with just body weight to work on balance.

Squats on balance disks – can be done with just body weight to work on balance.

There. That’s it. Go do this three times a week starting now and until your ski trip. Then you can come home, hopefully with both knees and shoulders intact, and sit on the couch until you book your next trip, panic, and look at this again in October. Better bookmark it.



Stuff I Like (And Paid For*) Dryland Training Edition




*but not necessarily full retail

Fall is in full swing in the Wasatch and I can smell ski season. In fact I woke up to about an inch of soggy graupel this morning and realized that these are the few days of the year when it is really hard to do anything. Not enough snow to ski, too much slop to ride bikes or rollerski. It was exactly freezing and we had exactly four intervals to do that really couldn’t be moved. So we went for an uphill trail run in the snow with our ski poles. It probably looked RIDIC, but it gave me a chance to solidly review a few products that I have been meaning to mention for awhile.

Booking it up to the tram at Snowbird.

Booking it up to the tram at Snowbird.

Salomon Crossmax XR Trail Shoes

I’ve had this pair for two seasons now and although I am not a runner and use them intermittently, they are my go-to trail shoe. I have terrible feet and orthotics for everything, so I choose a neutral shoe that has some cush and I still complain. But I complain less in these.

Fit The lacing system is their proprietary “Quicklace” system. It’s easy for me to use when I am half-asleep, jumping out of the car with freezing hands and looking to get moving ASAP. Although it might seem like it is harder to micro-adjust than laces, I actually think it’s sixes; I can adjust them to feel good even on my terrible low-volume, crooked, gnarly feet. So that’s a plus.  I tend to have a small ankle and larger forefoot and this shoe fits me well even with my orthotics. I could probably find a shoe that is a little tighter on the ankle, but that’s not a Salomon problem, it’s a me problem.

Boing These are trail shoes and I have used them on the road before too. They have plenty of cush for the push on dirt, snow, grass, even asphalt if that’s what you’re into. Actually, if you’re into that, get a road shoe. But for mixed media, these will do the trick. Think of them as a cross bike for your feet. It is not a minimalist shoe by any means (and that’s just fine).

Tread I ran uphill in wet snow today and didn’t slip once. I would call that a pass.

Weight My best time scaling Snowbird Summer Road on feets was about 1 hour and 5 minutes. That’s 3000 vertical feet in 7k. And I was wearing these, which is why I mentioned all that. They are nice and light.

Durability I have had them two summers and a winter. I might use them for running once or twice a month, but I also wear them around all over, hike in them sometimes, etc. Let’s face it. There are runners who are serious and keep two (or more) identical pairs and rotate them every day and never EVER wear them to the grocery store or anything, and then there are the rest of us. Running is something I do to train for Nordic skiing, but it is also something I tend to avoid. They were dirty today from my last time on the trail, but the snow made them look like new. No stitches are amiss, the tread looks good, the lacing system is fine and the foam is still squishy.

After two years they still look this good.

After two years they still look this good.

Overall When they started making shoes the Salomons were not my first choice. They have consistently improved this shoe to the point that now they are my number one choice for trail running and cross training for everything. And I have a newer, cleaner pair that I wear around because they are nice looking and easy to get on and off with a baby in one hand and all her crap in the other. I give them a five beer rating (out of five).

Bliz Pace Cross Country Glasses

These glasses are intended for cross country skiing, but I have been using them this summer for trail running.

Fit This model is designed for “small faces”. The “Pursuit XT” model is the larger equivalent. I chose the smaller of the two because I am small. Pretty simple. There are regular earpieces and a strap that attaches instead, and I have mostly used the adjustable elastic strap. It fits very well with a hat or headband since these were intended for skiing. The lenses provide full enough coverage for my eyes, and since I wear contacts it is important that they not be blown out. They also feature

So happy to be done running. But our eyes are happy in Bliz glasses!

So happy to be done running. But our eyes are happy in Bliz glasses!

a removable piece on the forehead that is padded. Again, it works well for its intended purpose with hats and headbands. You can even flip the glasses up on your head if you need to.

Performance They are very light and work exceptionally for trail running because of the elastic strap. Road running too, but I try and stay away from that.  I used them once with a helmet to rollerski and they didn’t mesh as well with a helmet. They still performed well, shielded the wind and resisted fogging. There is actually another model of Bliz called the Velo that are more suited to fit with a helmet. I can say with certainty after today’s snowy run that they will be great for cross country skiing, which is their aim. The only time I had any fogging was if I stopped, and it is easy to prop them up on your head for a second. As soon as I got moving they cleared.

Lenses Mine came with two pair; pink and smoke with mirror. The smoke are dark enough for our sunniest of days. I wore the pink on my run today because it

Mine came with two pairs of lenses, the solid earpiece and the elastic strap, which will be my go-to for cross country ski season.

Mine came with two pairs of lenses, the solid earpiece and the elastic strap, which will be my go-to for cross country ski season.

was overcast, and just as we left the car the sun came out. We were in snow in the woods, and the pink still reduced the glare, but I was happy to have them because it was still not full sun.

Overall I will race in these this season for sure. The elastic band is the selling point for me; it really works well for any hat-related activities. Good enough for some really fast Norwegians, good enough for me. Five beers.

Stuff I Like (and paid for*)




*I did pay full retail for this product

Cloth Diapers – The Sane Way

I was taking out the trash about three months ago and I became overwhelmed by the hugeness of the bag of diapers our petite baby churns out in less than a week. I guess I had considered options other than disposables, but time and sleep had escaped me.  When I finally took a breath (and had a solid night’s slumber) I decided to look into the world of cloth diapers.


Baby M sporting her gDiaper.

To my not-so-surprise, I found out that the Breastfeeding Mafia (militant breastfeeders) overlap with the Cloth Diaper Commies.  There are about a bazillion brands of diapers, most resembling the complexity of a Rubik’s Cube to snap on the baby. Everyone has an opinion. Some are made by WAHM’s (work-at-home-moms, not George and Andrew’s fabulous 80’s pop band, thanks auto-correct), some are “one size fits all” (you haven’t met my baby) and some are, well, seemingly impossible to wrap your head around (or wrap around a squirming baby). And the Cloth Diaper Commies seem to wear these things like a badge—the more difficult the system, the more time consuming the washing and the cheaper they can be obtained, the better. They write about having “six of the Bunnybutts, four Charlie Potatoes, a couple Poo Catchers,” etc. (all names fabricated).  Some of these folks are buying them used. USED!!! It was difficult to do real research. But that’s kind of a sign of the times I guess.

As I looked into costs and environmental impact, I found a bit of seemingly credible information regarding the hidden costs of cloth diapers. You see, these cloth diapers take water and energy to wash. If you have a regular style washer it fills up every time. Now if you go through, say, 18 diapers in two or three days, they won’t come close to being a full washer load. So you either need to own so many cloth diapers that it makes a full load (and store them dirty in between— think about that) or you are wasting a ton of water.  A HE (high efficiency) washer doles out water for small loads, but it still takes water and energy.  I don’t need to explain why you might want to wash diapers by themselves in hot water.

But still, the thought of that huge bag of disposables in the landfill haunted me.  And the “green” disposable diapers inside a plastic garbage bag really didn’t seem like a better solution. Also, they are wicked pricy.

No pants needed when you're g'd.

No pants needed when you’re g’d.

After lots of web surfing I found gDiapers. Now it’s important to understand that this brand kept coming up as the most hated brand by the Cloth Diaper Commies and Breastfeeding Mafia.  It drove my curiosity. And finally my wallet.

I purchased two of the gDiaper gPants, which are the outer layer. They come with a snap-in breathable but waterproof pocket (I call it the poo-catcher) and then your choice of a hemp/fleecy strip of absorbent material or a disposable fiber over stuffing pad. They do a great job describing how it works on their site here. It was the flushable option that really drew me in; these liners are compostable but also flushable. FLUSHABLE! You tear them open and shake out the fuzzy stuff and flush.  We were a little concerned about the fiber outer layer, so we put that in the trash. It is about the same amount of material as a paper towel. But you can flush them if you trust your toilet.

After the MDOD (messy diaper of the day) I put a disposable liner in a gPant and Velcro-ed it to M’s cute bum (ick, I know). When she needed a change I ripped and flushed.  Life was good.  I ordered six more here.

Certainly I was afraid of what every parent would be at this point: POOP!  But the first time poo happened, the poo-catcher caught it all. I bought extras of those and they snap right out and wash. That happens maybe once a day.

Next I tried out the fabric liners. Not to give TMI, but usually I can predict that one MDOD, after which we can switch to the cloth for the day.  When those get wet we rinse and throw in a pail to be washed at a later date. If I wanted to use them full-time, gDiaper makes a disposable sheet that sits on top. We had a successful MDOD on one of those too, no issues.

Easy to organize - snap-in liners, diapers and inserts.

Easy to organize – snap-in liners, diapers and inserts.

We’ve been using these for about three months and have phased out all disposables except at night, and that’s only because we are trying to use up the diapers we bought.  When those are gone we plan to use a disposable liner over a cloth liner at night.  Right now we double diaper at night for “overflow”.

The verdict?  These are awesome and here’s why:

Easy. They Velcro on.  A friend of mine was recently relating a babysitting tale to me about another friend who was using a one-size-fits-all snappy diaper. She didn’t feel that she knew how to close them and would give up and use a disposable when she was watching the kids.  Bottom line: we have been able to use them with all the grandparents with no hassle because they are easy to use. Grandparents even! What’s the point of using cloth if it’s so complicated that people will give up and use disposables?!

Hybrid option. The disposable inserts are the best of both worlds. The outer pants get reused for a day or two without washing because nothing gross touches them. The pocket inside gets reused a few times for wet diapers because you can give them a quick wipe. Or it snaps out and is washable. The disposable liner gets flushed.  A week’s worth of trash for us now looks like what a day’s worth used to. But we aren’t using much extra water and energy because the outer parts can be washed in the regular cold cycle with her clothes (remember, no poo touched them).

Portability. When we leave the house I bring a second assembled diaper. For changes on the go I just take one off and put the other on. I also bring extra disposable liners. If we’re out, they flush in a bathroom or can go in the trash. I know that many cloth diaper folks still rely on disposables out and for babysitting, but with these you don’t have to. We have changed M on the side of a mountain with these. No problem.

An entire week's worth of diaper garbage - with baby for scale. And technically we could have flushed this too.

An entire week’s worth of diaper garbage – with baby for scale. And technically we could have flushed this too.

Cost. No lie, the start-up is more. For about $200 you can have enough parts to diaper with these full time. That includes six pants that come with the snap-in liner, six extra snap-in liners, eighteen cloth liners and a pack of disposables.  The disposables, when bought in the bulk 84-pack, cost about a penny more per use than disposables at Costco. And they are very, very absorbent. In fact, our baby used to fuss the very second wetness touched the disposables. She fusses far less now. I believe the liners are free of chemicals and gels, but they still work great. No rash, no fuss.

Cuteness. You can’t put a price on this one. It’s hot out, and we can just put a t-shirt and one of these on her and go. They come in fun colors and patterns and look like little pants.

Velcro is to the back. I’m not going to dare her, but it would probably be hard(er) for her to, um, free herself with this design than if the closure was to the front.

Fit. I’m not buying the “one-size-fits all” claim. I’ve seen what some of those diapers look like and poor M would have had so much extra material around her she wouldn’t have been able to move.  Not to mention that I’m sure they wouldn’t have held tight on the legs, which of course means the dreaded MDOD might have leaked. gDiapers come in Newborn, S, M, L and XL, and the inner parts come in two sizes; Newborn/S and M/L/XL.

Great customer service.  I realize it isn’t a WAHM company; it’s slightly bigger than that, but still small. They have online chat with educated users who can help you answer questions from their experience.

Auto-ship. You can set up to have the liners auto-shipped at regular intervals. Because even though Babies-R-Us sells them, their display is very small and they don’t seem to stock a ton of product. Or maybe you don’t even live close to one.  The shipping is free and they just show up.

Drawbacks. They are more expensive to use than disposables. I’m thinking of it as an investment in a better world for her later. Also, because there are four sizes you have to buy new outer pants when they outgrow them. However, the Newborn and Small take the same snap-in liner and inner liner as do the M, L and XL. So once you get into M you are set with your liners.

They look great when M is flying her hippy flag!

They look great when M is flying her hippy flag!

We didn’t use these as a newborn, and frankly, I’m not sure how that would go with any cloth system. MDOD is more like MDOH (messy diaper of the hour) with the tiny babies, so who knows. I will say that if I had it to do over I would at least try it. gDiaper recommends using the disposable (flushable compostable) liners for newborns rather than cloth; a much more achievable goal than cloth every ten minutes!

I’m not sure why there is so much gDiaper hate out there on the message boards, but then again, I’m also not sure why there is so much bad grammar. We’ll never know. What I do know is this: if you’re environmentally concerned and moderately intelligent, the gDiaper is a great option for those who truly want to reduce waste, but don’t want to spend every spare moment of the day dealing with diaper logistics. And did I mention they are cute?

UPDATE—We are now 19 months into baby #2. We are using all of our original gDiaper outers and a combination of original and replaced fabric liners. This time we gDiapered from the time we got home from the hospital. Life is good, expenses are much lower, and many of our diapers have been handed off to a friend for a third life.

Stuff I Like (And Paid For*)




Like Oprah’s Favorite Things, I have a bunch of Stuff I Like.  Unlike Oprah, you won’t find one under your seat.   Here goes another addition of, Stuff I Like (And Paid For*)*not always retail.


The podium at the 2000 U.S. Olympic Trials. Since I always seemed to get 4th it was nice they let five of us up there.

Long before I had a blog, hell, before the Interwebs had blogs, I was a bike racer. And I was pretty successful on a national scale.  And I was short. Am short. Not growing taller.  And back in the 1990’s, there was not one single stock bicycle frame in the world that was worthy of racing in my size.

“Oh c’mon Jen, that’s not true,” you’re moaning, “Trek made them, Specialized had one, TONS of people had WOMENS SPECIFIC FRAMES.”

Sure they did, you’re right. But for one, I predate those and two, when they did show up most of them were not all that great from a racing perspective.  Don’t get me wrong, I get it. Chicken and Egg. There were like ten of us who were any good and nine of us were tall enough to ride men’s bikes.


Driving the breakaway on my custom bike. It looked like a bike. It rode great. I was happy.

And so I rode. On things cobbled together. Until one day I was sponsored by an independent frame builder (crafty, huh?) who made me beautiful hand-made custom steel bikes in exactly my spec.  It looked like everyone else’s bike because it had a horizontal top tube and was proportional.  And those bikes rode like a dream. I am forever grateful to them for meeting my needs and I turned down literally tens of offers to join other teams for fear I would have to give up my bikes that fit.

I retired from bike racing in 2001. I had my team bike re-painted all shiny so I could pretend I still got new bikes.  I put new parts on it.  Life was good.

The rest of the world began riding compact frames, but my steel steed still looked like the bikes everyone was riding when I started. And I was fiercely loyal to my sponsor even after I had stopped racing.

Discussing small wheels with the world's most famous shortie, Jeannie Longo.

Discussing small wheels with the world’s most famous shortie, Jeannie Longo.

One day I was approached by a good friend and former race mechanic who now works at Specialized. He asked if I would like to be a tester for a women’s bike.  Now if you know me then you probably know what I was thinking. (Purple with flowers on it doesn’t make it a good bike people!) To be fair, up until that moment I had the ultimate women’s bike – custom.  But somehow I was drawn.

Perhaps it was the carbony-goodness of this new bike. Or the fact that it was almost TEN POUNDS LIGHTER than my steel ride.  Maybe it was the fact that it wasn’t purple with flowers on it. Or maybe it was a maturity that brings open-mindedness.  Whatever it was, it resulted in a Specialized Amira being delivered to me one April day in 2009. The Amira is the women’s version of the men’s Tarmac – Specialized’s standard road racing machine.  I built it and took it for a ride.

Now if you’re a sporting company and you would like me to review something, there is a bit of detail you should know.  I HATE NEW EQUIPMENT.  I hate it so much. I hate it the minute I try it.  If I keep trying it, though, sometimes things turn around.  This bike was no exception to the rule; it is built around a much more modern design than my old bike, so the front end was five centimeters higher than what I was riding.

“I hate this and it rides like a semi.”  I think those were the first words out of my mouth.  But I couldn’t seem to resist the lightness, so I rode it again. And again.


Awesome enough to ride anywhere, comfy enough to ride seven months along.

I don’t remember when my opinion started to change, but I remember when it completed its one-eighty.  Jonathan and I rode the Shenandoah National Park Skyline Drive from end to end.  It is roughly one hundred miles and about 10,000 ft. of climbing.  We did it in just over six hours without going hard.  When the ride was over I realized I had never once felt that good after a ride that hard.  The anti-fatigue properties of carbon were evident as well as this one other little detail. This bike fit. It fit and it was STOCK.

We moved to Utah that year.  One day I came home from a ride and leaned the bike against the wall in the garage and went inside. With me right there, some horrible soul came into my garage and took it.  Upon discovering this I sobbed like I had lost my best friend.  I was utterly inconsolable.

When the tears finally dried up I concluded I would now be willing to purchase a replacement. And if need be, I would pay RETAIL.  I can stop the review right there, because if you know me, you know I never want to and hardly ever pay retail.  So you know I LOVE THIS BIKE.


Loving my Amira five seasons and counting.

In the end I didn’t have to pay retail. Insurance helped out with parts and friends in nice places helped me find a new one. I had an identical bike back.  See this bike was STOCK and not completely irreplaceable. To me, after all those years of not being able to just buy a bike like a normal human, this was and is a big deal.

At this point you’re wondering, “what’s so great about this bike? Does it have a motor? Does it also make Belgian Liege Waffles while you ride?”

Here’s the techie stuff. Keep in mind I am not large and therefore I will review things from a different perspective than a 250 pound, over six-foot dude. I don’t break much, and when I do it must be crap.

Fit:  It specs out like my custom did. Sure, that’s my bias, but Specialized probably wouldn’t have made it in this size if there wasn’t some demand. I ride the 51cm Amira S-Works.

Ride Quality:  Haters stand back: steel may be real but “plastic” is fantastic!  See my info about riding the Shenandoah road above.  Fatigue disappears when the road shock is being sucked up by a carbon frame, seatpost and handlebars. Remember, I’m small, so I’m not as worried about breaking things.

Handling:   Bicycling Magazine voted Little Cottonwood Canyon, UT the second best road descent in the entire U.S. It sits about two miles from my door. Though in my opinion it takes second to Big Cottonwood, which is about one mile away and has more cool turns.  Anyhoo, I’ve had this bike on both of those roads, brakes open wide, 50mph plus.  With a slight lean of the hips the Amira sails through corners like it’s on rails.  To be fair I haven’t raced a crit on it, but then again I don’t want to race crits anymore anyway.  It is solid and predictable.  It is stiff in all the right places so you lose nothing cranking on it in a standing climb.  Its weight (about 15 pounds for mine) makes it go uphill like you aren’t even on a bike, but on descents it handles like it weighs much more (in a good way).  Trustworthy.

Availability: Perhaps from where I sit this is the most amazing part of the story.  I walked into a local shop one day and there were multiple models of this bike in stock. I had to pinch myself as a strolled along looking at multiple builds and sizes available when NOT ONE of these would have existed ten years ago.  There are two sizes smaller than my 51 cm and a couple sizes larger.  Any bigger than that and you are well into the men’s size range. Price points for this bike range from $1750 to $8500 in seven different parts packages and as a frame.  Seriously! Unheard of ten years ago. I still ride a 2010 model but the 2013 models have only gotten better.

Early season rides sure feel better on a bike that soaks up bumps!

Early season rides sure feel better on a bike that soaks up bumps!

But does it look good?  Sadly, if you are in the market for a purple bike with flowers, you’ll have to look elsewhere.  Besides coming in a huge variety of sizes and builds, the Amira is also painted to look like, well, to look like a proper racing bike.  Red, black, navy, you know, regular bike colors.  I think somewhere in the line there’s a purple one if you must.  The curved top tube is a nice aesthetic that hides just how compact the frame is; in other words, this bike just looks NORMAL.  And for a long time that was not the case.

I will admit that I haven’t ridden any other bikes of this era.  And I don’t feel the need; Specialized nailed this one first try.  For years all I wanted was the option to walk into a local bicycle dealer and purchase a bike that was every bit as nice as the big men’s bikes, but in my size. And now short folks everywhere have the same option.  Lots of my female friends have purchased Amiras and Ruby’s (the women’s version of the men’s Roubaix).  It’s a good time for shorties to ride a bike. Now if it would only stop raining!

Bottling Day





It seems backwards to feature bottling beer before actually making it, but that’s how it worked out. There was a batch of beer that predated Baby M. that needed to be bottled and it’s a great opportunity to talk about beer and all the greatness involved with homebrewing.

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Secondary fermentation chamber – ready to bottle.

The beer to be bottled was a strong IPA.  We dubbed it “Hoppy Go Lucky”. Brewed on October 29th, we transferred to secondary on November 13th because I knew Baby M. was coming. I also knew beer keeps much longer in secondary because it is off the yeast and out of danger for suffering autolysis.

Two days later we were off to the hospital, the beer safely transferred and stowed in the dark corner of the crawlspace in the basement where we let the magic happen.  We managed to remember to dry-hop on November 29th as per our schedule, but then things got away from us with nordic ski season and a new baby.

The beer goes in here with a little sugar water on its way to the bottles.

The beer goes in here with a little sugar water on its way to the bottles.

We finally hauled it out the other day to bottle it, hoping for the best but knowing we were pushing it.  IPA‘s are among the shorter timelines, usually taking 6 – 8 weeks from start to finish.  This one was six months in the making, so it is either going to be awesome and we discovered something, or likely it will be ok, but a little off due to age. At least it is full of hops, which were a huge reason why IPA survived on boats back in the day.

Bottling, in a nutshell, consists of adding some corn sugar that has been dissolved in water to the beer, and then siphoning it carefully into sanitized bottles, slapping a fresh

cap on the top, and letting it sit in a warm place for about two weeks.

Super technical fix for the leaky spigot.

Super technical fix for the leaky spigot.

A little bit of live yeast remains in the beer after it is transferred, and the addition of the new sugar gives the yeast a little something to eat, creating carbonation in the bottle.  At this point you hope you added the right amount; too much and your bottles blow up. Not enough and you end up with flat beer.  So far we’ve been lucky.

After filling all the bottles and rinsing off the sticky overflow (which isn’t much once you get good with the bottling wand), one must exercise great self-control to keep from “peeking”. We’re always tempted to open the beer a week early, and we’re always disappointed and left feeling either guilty for wanting to pour it out or obligated to drink it flat.  Most of the time one more week in the warm room does the trick and we enjoy an effervescent brew..

Fill 'er up!

Fill ‘er up!

So why does one get into homebrewing? In our case, we were interested in the chemistry and academic nature of the job, and we live in Utah. I know, you’re thinking, “Utah? It’s dry there. No wonder you would want to make beer.”  Well, you’d be sort of wrong.  There are so many local brewers here making really interesting stuff, and yes, there are some seriously jacked up liquor laws here. But these local brewers like to brew big, high-alcohol beers in large bottles.  They inspired us to do the same. They also don’t recycle glass in this state, so we decided to do our part to directly recycle bottles by refilling them.

And then there’s the matter of the Beehive Brew-Off competition for home brewers.  We entered five of our beers last year and came away with a 2nd place in the Imperial Stout category. Probably more exciting for us was the feedback we received from professional brewers about how we could improve our beer.  For five bucks an entry it was well worth it just for the feedback.

So how does an average beer-lover with a little curiosity and some spare time get into this?  We were lucky; a friend gave us a bunch of brewing equipment with the request that we put the letter Z in our beer names for his dearly departed doggie.  We bought a few more items and a simple extract beer kit for a Brown Ale from Northern Brewer.

21 22's and 13 12's ready in 2 weeks!

21 22’s and 13 12’s ready in 2 weeks!

Their kits and accompanying instructions were an awesome way to start out and they have videos and even live chat for your beer questions (and for when you panic because your yeast didn’t seem to activate).

I love to shop locally too, and we have two amazing beer brewing shops here in Salt Lake.  The Beer Nut and Salt City Brew Supply are both well-stocked and full of people who know beer and will share their knowledge with you freely. I have recently taken to buying all my yeast at the last minute from one of the two because then I can assure it has been in the fridge until I use it. They are also among the only places open on Sunday, which is a likely brew day. So when you run out of something, they “got your back”.

Finally, we like to do our part to recycle glass since the state of Utah doesn’t.  We have a great partner in Yellowfinn Sushi in Sugarhouse. Their manager saves 22 oz Sapporo bottles for us and those labels come off easier than any other. Greg and the rest of the crew are our favorite taste-testers too.

Taste tester-in-training.

Taste tester-in-training.

This weekend we’re brewing an Imperial Stout with thoughts to the 2013 Beehive Brew-Off. It’s a 3-4 month beer, so we might nail this timeline a little better.

We started with extract brews, which essentially are malt syrups that you boil and add hops and yeast to, ferment and bottle.  After fourteen successful batches we decided to move to an all-grain process; basically you move back a step and steep grains in hot water to extract your own malt syrup.  It greatly extends the brew day (from roughly two hours to more like five). It also requires more equipment and a lot more attention to detail. The return is that for many beers, like IPA’s, there is a certain sweetness that you don’t want in the beer and you can’t seem to shake when using the extracts.  It has something to do with the fact that not all of the sugar is eaten by the yeast and is left to foul the taste.  I’ll say that you don’t notice it as much until you do, and when you do you’ll never go back to extract.  That said, darker beers do well with extract and it is the only place to start to learn the process.



Working Out with Baby





Jonathan and M ascending.

After we had Baby M we were committed to keeping in shape. So committed, in fact, that we did our first race five weeks later, followed by a full cross country ski season with pretty decent results. After the race season we took a couple weeks off and started to think about next year. Unfortunately, even with the generous babysitting by our friend Jessica, we can’t count on the same schedule we have in past years, so we’ve been making do.

This week we’ve been working out with baby. While doing our hour-long weights and plyo sessions can happen during naps, babies don’t always nap as planned. Because the very nature of weightlifting in pairs involves one person waiting for the bench, we devised a perfectly acceptable alternative; one lifts, the other entertains. It’s much more exciting to rest between sets with a smiling baby. Less so with a fussy baby, but you get what you get.


The resort is closed, so we (meaning Jonathan) had to break trail.

Since not all workouts can be weight workouts we were looking for a bit of cardio. Baby is too little at this point to hook to our bikes (and I’m not sure how I feel about that one right now anyway), so we took her for a ski. Alta is now closed during the week, so touring within the ski boundaries provides us with low-angle cat track to ascend and descend.  We needed to be able to manage avalanche danger, as in we wanted to eliminate it. The route we chose and all terrain that overhangs it is safe and we know it well, so it’s easy to pick a route to the top and back without having to worry. That said, once the resort is closed it isn’t maintained, so route finding is very important.

Proud papa at the turn around.

Proud papa at the turn around.

Jonathan took Chariot duties on the way up. I pushed a little on the steeper stuff, but he lugged M and the trailer most of the way to the summit. For the first time in the history of our ski touring I was the one to blister first, so we called it good about 500 or so feet from the top. There was a nice flat spot where we could switch gear, and it so happened that it was time for M to eat. After all, it’s good to keep a baby on her schedule! I engaged in a little extreme breastfeeding at 9500 ft. She was oblivious to the majesty of her surroundings; all she cared about was that she was warm and getting her afternoon tea.

The feed. Milli gets hers while I eat a Feedzone Portable snack.

The feed. Milli gets hers while I eat a Feedzone Portable snack.

After she pasted my ski pants with spit-up (par for the course) we packed her up and tightened her three-point harness for the rough ride down.

Even though we chose all greens for our up and down tracks, that sled can get going fast. Last time we skied I had her up on one ski, so I decided to be a little more ginger with her since she just ate.

Jonathan grabbed the back and we descended ski-patrol style. The sun-warmed snow was sticky; we had to pole out of a few places, but it was a beautiful day. Mom and Dad got in nearly two hours of outside time and Baby M got a wild ride.

A day for dark glasses.

A day for dark glasses.





Why We Made Up a Cycling Team




When I quit racing in 2001 I had a drawer full of usable cycling clothes, a few nice bikes and no desire whatsoever to ride them.  After a few years of happy hours, hockey, and a small but visible spare tire (on each of us), Jonathan and I decided we should ride our bikes again.  We mapped out some rides on the roads near Columbia, MD and rolled out for some very difficult first rides.


My first team, the Miami Flyers (Miami University). These guys taught me to ride in my small ring in the spring and rotate in a paceline. We didn’t have Strava, power meters or even after market shoe covers.

Along the way we encountered plenty of folks on bikes, some who even waved.  But even the friendly ones made it difficult to ride with them.  Half-wheeling, always going kind of hard, never rolling over the tops of hills, and worst of all, “showing us how it’s done”.  We went on a group ride one day and one guy commented on our supple little-ring spin, but most of them just took us for “racers” and tried to “show us how it’s done”.

It was about then we made two decisions: one good, one crazy.  Our nice crisp cycling kit had become tattered and dry-rotted.  The grip cuffs on the shorts lost their grip and the backsides became, well, kind of like a warranty pair of yoga pants.  The local clubs had already shown they were of the new school; wattage over form and flow.  We simply didn’t want to join a club to buy new clothes. Bike shop clothes are plain and cost a lot at full retail.

We decided to design and order our own clothing from Champion System.  After filling our minimum jersey order we got to have everything we ever wanted but were never issued by a team; thermal jackets, tights, vests etc.  And life was good.

The crazy decision was committing ourselves to the Wilderness 101 mountain bike race outside State College PA.  We planned it a year in advance, so we had a little carrot out there to force us on the bikes in otherwise bad riding conditions.  After you shell out an entry fee for one of those you train just to survive it.

Jonathan and I wearing our own clothing featuring Independent Fabrication. Picking and choosing good riding buddies in the hills of SLC.

Jonathan and I wearing our own clothing featuring Independent Fabrication. Picking and choosing good riding buddies in the hills of SLC.

Fast forward a few years and we found ourselves in Salt Lake City.  With the number of bikes around we thought we’d died and gone to Boulder 10 years ago. Sadly we soon found out that with its bike-friendly attitude, SLC was enabling a horrible bunch of the worst recreational road cycling has to offer.  And I am not exaggerating.  Floored by the politeness of the automobiles as we were, we were equally horrified by the other cyclists. It wasn’t just that they were too rude to wave; the majority of these ass hats run every stop sign and barely slow down for red lights.  They ride three and four abreast up popular canyon routes. They are always in the big ring pedaling huge squares going fast-ish. They are quickly adding to the ever-present public relations struggle of road cycling.

The most telling event was a single group ride that we were invited to attend with a friend.  This ride was a memorial for a fallen rider; one who became a victim of an automobile on the roads of Salt Lake.  We didn’t know the rider, but it was nice to see how many people showed up to honor him.  And that’s where the nice stopped short.  Upon leaving the parking lot this bunch of folks who knew the victim proceeded to run the first red light they hit.  Yup, did I mention this was a memorial ride for someone who succumbed to a vehicle vs. bike accident?

Time for new clothing - including a team jersey for Baby M.

Time for new clothing – including a team jersey for Baby M and maternity-sized shorts for me.

Worse yet, I was almost rear-ended as I stopped for the light by another cyclist in the group who was annoyed.  Really? Really. Annoyed that I stopped for a red light.

And the motorists in SLC are conditioned to give away their right of way to cyclists; a situation that is at best unpredictable and at worst, well, causes eventual backlash.

So that’s it.  We made up our own team again.  This time based on our ski team. Because it is bad enough that we get lumped in with other cyclists by people in cars.  I never want to be lumped in with the local teams and clubs here in Salt Lake. I realize not every member of every club is out making a bad name for cyclists.  I have, however, seen at least one cyclist in every jersey in town blatantly breaking traffic laws and otherwise acting like a dick in ways that do not reflect how a respectable cyclist should act.  I would venture a guess that most of the offenders are at best Cat 3’s in the local race series. They probably started riding a little in college or maybe after college. Many of them probably got into bikes during the great growth of mountain bikes in the 90’s

Finally fitting into the new clothes post baby. Still riding for our own team, joiners allowed by unanimous vote only.

Finally fitting into the new clothes post baby. Still riding for our own team, joiners allowed by unanimous vote only.

and then realized they needed something to do on weekdays and all the snow seasons (it sometimes isn’t possible to ride the high trails until July).  Some of them are triathletes.  No comment.

The problem is, when you wear a jersey with the name of a team or business on it, you are representing that team or business. Period. Even if they don’t give you a damned thing except a discount on a jersey. The court of public opinion is watching you run lights and act like you own the place.

So FYI local cyclists; that huge gap you just got on me on your training ride was probably because I stopped for the stop sign.  And don’t worry – the jersey that you don’t recognize won’t be giving you a problem at the local races. We’re done racing bikes. We’re just out for a respectable bike ride of some kind, be it intervals or a Zone 1 day. But I guess I can’t expect you to know what Zone 1 feels like because I’m pretty sure you hit that while you were filling up your bottles, resetting your power meter, booting Strava on your iPhone, filling your pockets with gels to throw on the ground at the base of Emigration Canyon, getting ready to ride pseudo-tempo downhill on Wasatch in your big ring in February.

Stuff I Like (And Paid For*)




Once again I’m reviewing Stuff I Like (And Paid For*) *not always retail.  My Salomon Equipe 10 Soft Ground Skate Skis are my favorite in the quiver.  Full disclosure – I am a member of the “Salomon Athlete Force” and received a discount. But I did buy them. Here’s the scoop.


The Salomon Equipe 10 Skate – Soft Ground. Designed for use where I live!

I’m relatively new to the sport of Nordic skiing, but coming from a place where I know good equipment when I see it. Or ski it.  These skis are specially designed for use on “soft ground”. Translation: newly fallen snow that has been groomed recently and not rained on.  The construction is different from its “compact ground” counterpart because it is built with softer sidewalls and a more flexible tip that resists “plowing in” to soft, new snow.  It is also one of the (if not the) lightest skis on the market, which may only be a few grams, but it makes a difference over 25 or 50km of skating.  The idea was to eliminate unnecessary stiffness in situations where it simply isn’t necessary and come up with a ski that excels in soft snow.


Skis well on hard, soft, snowshoed, dog walked, just about any ground.

So how does it do?  The first time I skied them last year I loved them. (If you know me, you know that’s a HUGE deal).  I felt like they stayed in contact with the ground more, and in theory that is faster.  The tips float over and brush aside loose snow rather than diving into it, which is also faster.  An unintended bonus I discovered was their excellent performance on multi-use trails that have huge divots from feet and snowshoes.  The soft tip rides over the rough track and keeps them in contact with the ground rather than reacting harshly like a stiffer ski.  I equate it to lowering the tire pressure in a mountain bike or cyclocross tire on rough terrain for better traction; in this case it means better glide.


The SG in action at the 2012 Boulder Mountain Tour.

Since the Intermountain West is almost always full of soft snow, I skied them often.  They became my “go to” ski in almost every condition, and if I was waxing a few days ahead of traveling and I didn’t want to spend a ton on wax, I would just assume I was skiing these.  After a year I was finally presented with an opportunity to test them against the stiffer ski when I headed to Soldier Hollow in extremely cold temps to race on hard, man-made snow that had been groomed multiple times and closely resembled an ice rink.  I tested the Soft and the Compact on a set distance with the same wax. In the end I chose the Soft because it was just as fast, and I love how it handles in anything that is imperfect. Let’s face it, most courses are not perfect.


They even work well when powering along with a passenger.

Most people who skate ski recreationally only own one pair of skis. In most cases the Soft Ground ski would be seen as a “specialty” ski; you’d only own it if you had a large quiver.  I can’t speak for all areas of the country, but for the West, where snow tends to be more abundant and very soft, I would recommend this ski as a fantastic “only” ski.  It handles hard conditions very well, rides over defects in the trail most likely found outside the confines of a race setting, and is priced the same as the competing high-end ski from just about every manafacturer.  If I could only have one weapon in my quiver, this one would be it. I’ve been told by many a ski coach to always ski the softest ski you can handle in a given set of conditions.  I haven’t found conditions in the Intermountain West where I couldn’t handle this ski, and I keep going back to it every week.

If you live in the Salt Lake area you can get your Salomon Soft Ground ski AND expert fit advice here:

If not, visit Salomon’s site to find a great dealer near you:

Happy Trails!

An Open Letter to DOMA Supporters





Facebook has turned red this week as people who I know all over the good old U. S. of A. stand up and ask the Supreme Court to do the right, no, the equal thing and give the same rights to everyone in the country. The right to be legally, civilly married.  To have and to hold, to fight and make up, to be shitty to each other, to be nice, to divorce, in some cases. But as always, opponents are up in arms, writing grammatically incorrect signs and holding them up all over the place opposing something that really has nothing to do with them.  In that spirit of “it’s not about you,” I have “penned” a letter.  An open letter to the opponents of marriage equality.  Here goes:

Dear Mr./Mrs./Miss and certainly not Ms.,

First off, congratulations on your choice to be straight!  I too am straight and I know what a hard choice that was that one day when you finally told the world that you choose to be with a member of the opposite sex.  Oh wait. You didn’t choose?  Right. Excellent.  Now that we have that hurdle out of the way we can move on to some of your real concerns.

It will erode the sanctity of my marriage.  Really?  Let me tell you a little story.  I am married.  I was married just over ten years ago in the county court in a small town in Maryland.  By a female judge. (That probably burns you a little, huh?) So when we said the “I do’s” we were presented with a fine certificate from the State of Maryland that said we were all legal-like. And with that we received all the benefits of a church-marriage through the government, because this was a legally recognized civil marriage.  And it was called a marriage. And we never set foot in a church.

About seven years later we packed up and moved our worldly possessions to the great state of Utah.  And when we got here our marriage certificate, from a court in the state of Maryland, was still good. Still haven’t gone into a church.

A few months ago, Maryland legalized same-sex marriage.  I waited on the edge of my seat for that official certificate to go up in flames. But you know what? It didn’t.  I’m still legally married to my husband, we still get along fine, and we even had a kid.

The divorce rate in this country is huge – upwards of 50%.  And since same-sex marriages aren’t allowed, those are your “marriage is between a man and a woman” marriages. And they aren’t doing well.  If same-sex couples are allowed to get married, they will certainly divorce. Maybe at the same rate, maybe not.  However, they won’t do anything to the sanctity of marriage that hasn’t already been done and done again by the existing “traditional” marriages. One needs to look no further than Hollywood or Vegas to see the mockery of the institution first-hand.  Again, those are opposite-gender unions.

It says so in the bible.  Hmm.  Well let’s start by remembering the Mayflower.  It was full of people who were really tired of being chased around by the various churches.  They came here to be able to worship as they pleased.  And in the true style of the bullied, they became the bullies.  About everything; land, skin color, people owning, even religion (remember, that’s why they left).  But then the colonies became a country and a document was written by a group of old white men. And they agreed that there would be no state-sponsored religion.

Now I know this is largely ignored on a daily basis in most of the South, Midwest and certain Western states like the one in which I reside.  Daily.  But just the same, it is a law, and “marriage is only between a man and a woman” is not written in that document.

Besides.  The bible says all kinds of things.  Crazy shit.  Like you can own slaves. No tattoos. You should not eat shrimp, lobster, shellfish etc.  But I’ll bet your ass LOVES Red Lobster… To read some other good points about what it says in the bible, click here. You need to stop selecting only the parts you like.

But I digress.  Same sex marriage has been legal in many countries and even in many states in the U.S. , and there hasn’t been an apocalypse, frogs, floods, (well I guess there were some floods), but for the most part we’re all still here.  I guess what I’m saying is, it really doesn’t matter what your religious text says, because by law, the country is not obligated to follow it.

It’s icky.  Ok, let’s just get rid of this one once and for all.  Picturing you and your opposite-gender partner doing the deed is icky too.  And I’ll bet you spend less than one percent of your time engaged in the, ahem, activity.  So what are you doing the rest of the time?  Probably chores, work, shopping, eating, sleeping, arguing, chasing your dogs, your kids, maybe just writing nasty bigoted comments at the end of internet articles supporting marriage equality.  Well guess what?  Same sex couples do all of those things.  (Except the bigoted comments about themselves). Really – do you want to believe they are more prolific in the bedroom than you?  Probably not.  They, like you, spend 99% of their time doing mundane life tasks and then do icky things, just like your icky things.  So once and for all, let’s not boil down a same-sex relationship to a sex act. That would be like saying that your marriage is all about that too, and I’ll bet one of you would say otherwise.

It will lead to other things like polygamy, polyamory, marrying your relatives, marrying pets etc.  I’m a live and let live kind of person.  If you want a bunch of wives, provided they are of age and consenting, have at it.  Just don’t scam the government by claiming three of you are “single moms”. Most men think you’re nuts for wanting to deal with more than one anyway.  But the thing is, in fairness (and that’s what we’re talking about here), two-person marriages are what are granted certain privileges in our country, but some two-person marriages are left out.  This legislation seeks to equalize that, not allow for larger marriages.

Relatives?  Well honestly there aren’t many people who want to do that.  There are scientific reasons why a person should not have children with their immediate relatives, and let’s face it; gay, straight, bi, transgendered, I have never met a person who wants to marry their relative. Or at least one who will admit it to me.

Pets.  Well, when Rover can speak his verbal consent I say go for it. Until then he falls into the same category as a child – not a consenting adult (human or otherwise).

Debating pro tip: avoid slippery slope arguments. They make you look desperate.

I just don’t believe in it.  Ok, ok, maybe one of the most honest and valid points out there.  Or honest at least.  Let’s investigate your rights.  You have the right to dislike gay marriage.  You also have a right not to have one, attend one, or even let one into your church. Because you see, your church is protected by law because it is a private institution. As a bonus, your church doesn’t even have to pay taxes like a same-sex couple does.

Maybe this isn’t about church (although I suspect there are scant few atheists out there who support DOMA).  It’s just “what you believe”.  There was a time in this country where we “believed” in owning people.  It was a law.  And eventually that law was overturned because the majority of people thought it was kind of mean and a bad idea.  Most of those people lived in the Northeast, where coincidentally (or not) marriage-equality already exists in most states.

For a long time it was illegal for women to vote.  That law was overturned.  With the exception of that psycho Ann Coulter I think most women, even the most conservative, enjoy their rights.

People of color were not given a vote, and when they were, they were still not allowed to use the same water fountain or bathroom as a white person.  I know there are still people who “believe” this should be true, but usually they are smart enough not to say it in public.  I guess they have a right to believe that, and if they live in the South, Midwest, Utah or Idaho it probably doesn’t come up much, since these places are either shockingly pale or still neatly and unofficially segregated.  But not by law.

So, friend, believe in what you want. It is your lawfully protected right. The bare fact of this matter is that by allowing same-sex couples to marry, your life does not change one bit.  But by allowing the law to follow what you believe there is a large group of tax-paying citizens in this country who are not allowed the same rights as you.  And that’s just unjust.


One of many straight, married people who believes in their friends’ equality under the law.